so what happens when you realize...

that you lost 40 pounds over a year ago and then gave up...seriously how stupid was that. half way to my goal I quit...DUMB DUMB DUMB. However I do realize I am completely human and that halloween candy won some kind of mental battle I was having. Ever notice how you can go along doing great at something, and how just one little sugary piece of goodness messes it all up. Since that one little piece didn't hurt me, another will be okay, and then another and another and then suddenly BAM!!!! off the band wagon and into the muck! Ever notice how that thing you were doing great at is really really hard to restart. Why is that? I really would like to know why that is. I felt better, I looked better, it wasn't hard, and do I really want junk more than I want health? My actions would suggest that I do. Now thankfully in all of this less than stellar eating I have done in the last year, I am basically within a poundish of where I ended. So can I start again, make it through the holidays and be one hot mama by the New Year?!?!?!? Well, I don't know the answer to that, but I am stating loud and clear right here and now, I am going to try!

You may start seeing some weird posts from me, as I need to be sure I talk about this so I stay honest. I can fool myself, but I won't be able to lie to you as easily cause I'll feel guilty about that. I'm tired of the fat that hangs over the top of my pants when I sit down, and how my belly has a roll that shouldn't be there. I don't like my thighs to rub together, or the rolls on my back produced by wearing a bra, and seriously with girls like mine, bra-less is not an option to fight that one.

I think I am going to take some before shots...that I will not post because, well you don't need to see that scariness, but maybe when all said and done I'll post the nasty before shots. (by nasty I mean scantly clothed) I want to make it real, and pictures don't lie...at least when they aren't photoshopped they don't.

So here I am raising my glass of water to a new beginning. I can do this!!!