Monday, May 3, 2010

Thankful for lessons learned...

that are lessons you need and they are positive. I have been struggling with something for a good while now, actually a couple of things. I can honestly say I have prayed about them, but not without continuing to hold on to them. Trying to pull the ole, answer this prayer on my terms okay!

We are getting ready to start a new Beth Moore Bible study at church called Daniel

(yes Ryan thinks he needs to be in every picture ha!)

Anyway, when Amber (pastor's wife) and I were talking about it she said she thought she would only lead one of the 2 studies, or have only one, or something along those lines, and from somewhere not of my own doing I agreed to lead one of the studies. It actually surprised me that I said it, she didn't even ask, I just offered. I got off the phone and decided I had lost my mind, but I know God will can use me because this is all about Him, not me. (sorry you kinda need the back story to understand the blessing I got this weekend.!)

So I get the leaders guide and I am reading through the intro and week one, and just felt God's presence so near, in a way I hadn't in a long time, and it was so wonderful. Now you know what happens when you are excited about something God is doing or going to do? The ole devil decides he needs to beat you up a little. So the things I had been struggling with suddenly were magnified. I lost sleep, felt foolish for my worries, had some anxiety issues, satan was working some serious black magic.

I had been wanting to talk to my husband or someone and just state what I was struggling with, but just kept thinking I was being silly and anyone would clearly think that too if I told them how I was feeling (can you see the devil's work in that?)

So anyway, this weekend the clerk on the unit I was working on is a wonderful Christian lady, and I was telling her about the Bible Study we are getting ready to do, and how I felt inadequate. She commented not exactly these words, but the idea, that God doesn't need me to be adequate, but willing. That hit me with such clarity. I told her what I had been struggling with, and she said, satan knows our weaknesses and where to hit us to try to bring us down and you are letting him (again not exact words, because it was kind of emotional for me, but you get the idea right). I told her I knew I needed to just let go of the fear and trust God. She reminded me God would not bring us to anything and drop us off, but that He would also be there every step of the way. Do you know, satan got defeated that day. The simple act of sharing my struggles out loud and my willingness to trust God through anything sent the devil the other way. I told this lady the next morning what difference I felt, and how those fears were gone, because God is in control and I don't need to carry those worries. She praised the Lord and so did I! You know we can "what if" ourselves into believing and worrying about lots of things, and the devil uses that. I was reminded that my God is bigger!! I also was reminded of something from our last study that I kind of struggled with, but now fully understand. Beth Moore said in our last study to say it out loud. Praise God out loud, rebuke the devil out loud, don't keep it all inside, let the Devil hear you say you are trusting God.
I had been trying all on my own inside my mind to deal with the things I was struggling with, but saying out loud made the change.

So if you are struggling with something, don't be afraid to share it out loud. You don't have to share it with someone else, but find a quiet place if you are afraid to share with someone, and just share it with God out loud! Maybe you will find as I did, that simply stating it will help you to trust God and defeat the devil.

Have a blessed day!

No comments: