Tuesday, May 17, 2011

diet and exercise

I pretty much heavily dislike both dieting and exercise. However, since I wasn't blessed with a metabolism that lets me eat all day and do nothing at all and be thin, (and I doubt I will ever be thin as that is not my goal) as much as I dislike those things I have come to realize they are a necessary evil. So in the last week, I have actually exercised every day (we are going to count the running around I do at work exercise, I mean after all it is 12 hours each day picking up people, running down the hall, sometimes sprinting to keep someone from falling out of bed--it counts) Yesterday, I counted the work I did outside as my exercise. I have even exercised through a stomach bug. I am determined for now.

See this is what I do, I go full force (just like every other thing I do) for a while, then I get burnt out, or discouraged, or hungry for a giant cookie and give up. What I realized recently though is, I don't want to give up the things I like forever, and removing them forever isn't going to happen, so removing them completely now is only going to cause failure later.

Now you may recognize that this is the idea behind weight watchers, eat well, but you can still have that dessert if you count it. except you can't do that everyday and expect to lose weight.  But for me when I start having to look at calories, and fat, and sugars, etc I start focusing so much on food, and what I can't have that I end up being hungry all the time for stuff I shouldn't eat all the time. So for me, instead of saying I can have 2 of those cookies for 4 points which makes me feel deprived, I am just eating in moderation. So maybe for me that is one cookie, or 3 cookies.  I am going to feeling satisfied instead of full, and moving my body.

I have been on the wii fit everyday for the last 5 days. I am down almost 3 pounds (small steps) I want it to come off slow, as I retrain my body to eat less because I over eat. I know this, and I am the only one that can change it. I have gotten away from drinking enough water, which is amazing in helping reach weightloss goals. My biggest problem areas are my inner thighs and my belly. I'm not a big fan of the back fat my bra shows either. So I am doing a mix of yoga, and aerobic activity. today I did yoga booty ballet (which makes me shake things I will only shake in my family room alone) however it was invigorating. I was sweating, exhausted, and on a exercise high all at the same time. Then I did almost all of a yoga abs workout, some of it I just could not do, so I did what  I could. There is no shame in saying I am unable to do somethings, I tried and that is what is important, and the amazing thing about our bodies, the more we work them, the stronger they get.

I used to say I never understood why people wanted to run a 5K, or marathon etc, but I get it. There is a sense of accomplishment in training your body to do something it can't do right now. I am not a runner, and don't think I ever will be, but I can still set goals for myself. 

Know what exercise also does, it provides an outlet to de-stress. Feeling frustrated, doing some wii boxing, knocks that out (pun not intended, but is cute). Even a walk outside in the fresh air to clear the mind is amazing.

Know why I haven't been exercising until last week. I told myself I was too busy. Now that is the most ridiculous thing I could possibly say. I mean, I have time to surf the internet, read books, avoid laundry and the dishes. I am home alone monday thru friday for 6 hours, and I convinced myself I didn't have time.

And if I need a little more incentive, bathing suit season is fast approaching, and well i dont' want to look like jelly donut in a tight wrapper. ha!

So I am hoping, altho this hasn't particularly worked in the past, but I am hoping that by writing honestly about my journey here I can finally beat this bad cycle of being over weight. I've decided numbers aren't important. I have a goal size sort of, but since clothing is so inconsistent, that isn't even really what I am going for. I have picked a number to shoot for to begin with, and I am focusing first on my first 5 pounds, and I'm half way there. Then I'm going to reach for each 5 pound increment lost, until I reach a place where I feel I can stop.  I am going to be reaching for some scriptures to help me in times of emotional eating because I must recognize that I am an emotional eater. Happy, sad, angry, bored, I go to food. I am going for healthy habits, without strict removal of things I like.

I may or may not post a photo now, but I plan to take a picture a week so I can see the changes happening. It will help keep me motivated.

Know the other benefit of all of this, being a good example for my children. Particularly my daughter. The world puts so much pressure on girls to look a certain way, and being a good example now is going to help give her a solid foundation for later.  I think I may make this my Tuesday posting, perhaps with photos once a month. I don't know for sure.

Have a blessed day.

My healthy breakfast,

1 egg +1 egg white pan fried with green onion
1 slice of toast with my butter (which isn't butter at all)
cup of coffee with stevia

and I am not hungry! =)

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